The Chronology of Haruhi Suzumiya

Now that the fanaticism has hit the fan once again, it occurs to me as I see and read all the online comments, that there is still much confusion about the two seasons of Haruhu Suzumiya, and in all truth THERE ARE NO TWO SEASONS OF HARUHI SUZUMIYA!

Don't let anyone fool you into thinking otherwise, regardless of what Bandai Entertainment of America or even the nerds running riot on the internet tell you; there is no season 2, it was a fabrication, a hoax, a crock of crap, and a big fat lie!

What there is, is two box-sets of 14 episodes (28 total) that are completely and deliberately shown out of their correct chronological order, and for those of you deliberately obtuse, or just not wanting to accept the truth, then I'll try one more time to give you the complete order of the show.

It's gonna be difficult for you, and you may even be in some pain; mentally and physically, but you are going to have to trust me, the series will make about as much sense as a rubber band made out of iron if you don't get your fandom out of your asses, and start following along.

First and foremost, this is a series about Haruhi, and while that is constant, Kyon, NOT Haruhi is the star of the show. 

Anyway, throw out everything you know about the series, throw out all the conspiracies, and all the nerdy rantings, and yes, throw out everything you THINK you know about endless eight, and let's get down to business of which came first, the Mikuru 00 or The Melancholy 01.

For those of you blessed with ordering the "Second Season" and getting it almost a week earlier than everyone else, you may have already noticed that there are huge issues with the show. First of all it dives right into the school year, and immediately follows with summer break. Then the viewer is thrust right back into school with the preparations for a festival, where we see the team working on a film project.

Those of you at this point will stop, and suddenly remember the first episode of the previous set called The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00, and no doubt wonder about that little gem just permanently pegged at the beginning, and so far out of context with the rest of the series at this point that it would have served better were it just included as a bonus episode, or special feature; but not this one, it was an actual episode, and it actually aired in Japan.

Also in the first set of episodes, there is that whole mystery adventure the group had on the island during their summer vacation; which was to be followed by the Endless Eight happenings, and wouldn't you know it, they split that between the two sets as well, making the summer break -- which is the same summer break at the island -- happen twice!

Then there is the rock concert.

Now there's not a lot I can say about that, since it was during the festival, but come on! Are you really gonna try and have me believe that there were two identical school festivals where Yuki dressed as a Mage? Get real! We all know it's the same festival, and in fact during the Live Alive episode you see Yuki doing the fortune telling thing, so again it's completely FUBAR in the correct order of the show.

You will also be glad to know there wasn't three different viewing orders this time, in fact, when the series was re-broadcast -- yeah, that's what we call the extended version -- it was done so in its original chronological order. So then after it was aired and Bandai announced its aquisition of the rest of the series all the speculation began in and amongst the fanbase about whether Bandai was going to release it on DVD in North America in its correct order or not, and just discontinue the first release. Well, no.

To be honest there really wasn't much of a way for them to release the extended episodes without forcing people to "Double Dip" the first set of episodes all over again, and so short of pilfering people's wallets, they just opted for the lamest approach of all, which was to call it a "Second Season". Yeah, it's about as second season as my left foot!

So now that we have this atrocious box-set that is as craptastic as the rest of Bandai's wonderful consumer products -- I'm talking about the actual DVD case here which was so crappy that two of my discs arrived off their clasps loose in the box -- with that stupid ridiculous "Second Season" label slapped on it, I feel the need to list once again the correct order.

Now you can be stubborn, and say that you don't care, and that you can follow along and watch it as is, and that's fine. Be a stubborn nerd-wad dorkenheimer! But for those that want to see it as it was intended, you are going to have to take a little initiative and get up off of the couch and brush the potato chip crumbs off their favorite Star Wars T-shirt, and go change a few discs.

This is the absolute correct order for watching your Haruhi Suzumiya DVDs, regardless of what the company has printed on them. If you want it right, then watch it right. Or if you still want to convince yourself that Haruhi will magically arrange all the episodes while you sleep using her demi-god like powers, then, you need to go back to the doctor, and have him or her adjust your psychosis medication.

1. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 1
2. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 2
3. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 3
4. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 4
5. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 5
6. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 6
7. The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya
8. Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody
9. Mystérique Sign
10. Remote Island Syndrome Part 1
11. Remote Island Syndrome Part 2
12. Endless Eight
13. Endless Eight
14. Endless Eight
15. Endless Eight
16. Endless Eight
17. Endless Eight
18. Endless Eight
19. Endless Eight
20. The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 1
21. The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 2
22. The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 3
23. The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 4
24. The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 5
25. The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00
26. Live Alive
27. The Day of Sagittarius
28. Someday in the Rain

Now, following after Someday in the Rain is the feature film The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya which finally gives the whiny nerds their beloved arc; you know the one they bitched and moaned over like seasick walruses? Yeah, they get that arc in the form of a film.

Now as for the Endless Eight thing, I can pretty much guess why it was made; and once you hear my rationale you will understand that it was a necessary evil. Now, I don't want to hear that bull-crap about why you are so much better and holier than the rest of the fanbase and dropped the show because of the Endless Eight episodes, that's just retarded, and not just retarded, it's dropped-on-your-head ate-paint-chips RETARDED! If I were there I'd slap the living hell out of you for getting so damned pious and self-righteous!

The endless eights were deliberately made into filler, because it was the ONLY part of the novels that could allow it. Let's say that the studio did animate The Disappearance Arc and tack it on at the end of the re-broadcast, it would have given it only what? Let's say four episodes, five at the absolute most. Because while Endless Eight may not deserve eight entire episodes, it did require at least two or three to tell adequately.

So the average episode of anime is 22 minutes in length, that's about 100 to 110 mins of film. Sure it would have been enough, but lets not forget that the Melancholy Arc had 6 episodes to tell it; that's about 135 mins.

Also, if the studio had elaborated on any of the other arcs, like the Sigh, or even the Remote Island one, then that would equal your favorite thing... FILLER!!!!!! Oh, I know how much you guys just love filler, like getting a nail-file rammed into your eyeballs, and then you gotta go trumpet about how much you hate it so dang much. So you should be happy that there wasn't any filler episodes from the regular stuff. Sigh had enough episodes to tell the story, and if they had cut the Endless Eights off short that would have left the series lop-sided. So yeah, the only real arc that could get away with the padded content WAS ENDLESS EIGHT! Thank you, God bless, have a nice trip, see ya next Tuesday!

So, instead of killing the best parts of the show with bad filler, or cutting down one of the most passionate and critical arcs they made the choice to expand Endless Eight, and give us ALL of the Disappearance Arc, to which you morons aught to be very grateful.

So, now that you have all the facts, all the correct viewing orders, stop repeatedly asking this stupid question, and just watch the show and be glad that I don't come over there and ram the discs one by one up your ignorant weeaboo asses!

Every Haruhi Has Her Day

In just a matter of a few days, one of the most anticipated North American releases is about to hit the shelves. No I'm not talking about a DVD release of the next Twilight movie. I'm talking about The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya - Season 2.

This release comes with much fan-fare and applaud amongst the peers of both anime and manga, as it marks another triumph of a franchise. The ultimate fate of Haruhi was so set in the balances, that at one point the North American fan-base had doubts that a license by Bandai Entertainment would even transpire; let alone a full English dub.

Much to everyone's excitement, the 14 episode continuation had earned enough steam to warrant a complete release, English dub, and the nifty inclusion of a bonus CD for those that purchase it on the 17th of this month — just a few days away.

The only real drag about this release, is that for those of us that suffer from even the mildest forms of collection compulsion and retentiveness, and who purchased the single volumes of the first 14 episodes, will want to claw at their eyes, and tear at their faces when confronted by the idea of placing a bulky snap-dragon case in amongst the thin singles.

It might be just me, but it sort of clashes with the inner peace and beauty of my collection. Not to mention that those of us that can work their way around the "Endless Eight" episodes—appropriately shown in an arc of eight—will have some mild twitching and or convulsing at the slapping of that damned "Second Season" label right there under the title of the series.

I might not be the absolute know-all end-all expert on Haruhi Suzumiya; but there is no way in the world that this is a second season. First of all, the episodes are in-between the other episodes, and are more like restored cut-scenes to the series. Second of all, no where in Japan that I know of was it ever labelled as a second season, but simply as Haruhi Suzumiya (2009), or as "Rebroadcast".

This brings me to a final point that I hope I won't have to rant about later. But it seems interesting that the series is allowed to be distributed in a non-chronological format, considering the previous 14 episodes were shown in their correct order sans that "Adventures of Mikuru Asahina" episode.

So fans who either aren't Haruhi experts, or at least a little more than a casual fan; will have a hard time following the apparent leap-frogging that will happen after they view "Someday In The Rain" and immediately begin on "Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody". Not to mention that the entire "Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya" arc is before "The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina"!

So this leaves me with my rant ready notes all set for when Bandai does later on next year, what they should have already made available now. That is, the entire chronological series.

For those of us that have taken the time to learn the where, and placement of the episodes it might not matter so much, but for the casual fans, seriously, it will be a confusing mess. Half of the younger inductees into the fandom of Haruhi are still trying to figure out where Kyon and his sister got a cat from, when they didn't have it in the earlier episodes.

Aside from these technical beefs, I really am excited — like I hope everyone else is — at the thought of finally getting more Haruhi, and finally on DVD. Chances are the sales made from this release will help to stabilize the rocky wobbling of Bang Zoom, and help bolster Bandai's confidence in further dub work State Side.

Now all I have to do is tap my heel on the floor, and strum my fingers on my desk until The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya finally gets its release. But I'll save that for another blog post.

Gundam Statue Terrorizes Tokyo

This baby knocked our socks off today, although calling it a 'baby' is a wee bit of a misnomer, since the brand new, iconic RX-78-2 Gundam statue at Odaiba's Shiokaze Park here in Tokyo - still under construction, but almost ready to be unveiled in July 2009 - towers over innocent, earthbound bystanders at around 18 meters.

It also weighs in at 35 tons, so close proximity in this earthquake-prone country may not be so advisable. What the statue does do is make the nearby copy of the Statue of Liberty look, well, tired and matronly by comparison. Not to mention insignificant.

The full-scale Gundam figure is being put together to commemorate the 30th anniversary of the first broadcast of the rather spiffy mecha anime TV series, Mobile Suit Gundam.



Our lumbering suit of futuristic combat armour also exudes mist from various points in his body, and is apparently going to look a treat in the evenings with some special lighting. Personally, I was gob-smacked; this is just plain brilliant.

Word has it that other people can train-spot this baby for free up until the end of August - whereupon it'll be torn down, sad to say.